Where he’s from

Gray was born on a Trafalgar Square ledge, one of several thousand pigeons hatched there that year, and the only one who went on to develop opinions about international transport links. His travel career began accidentally, stowed away in an overhead locker sometime in his youth, and he has technically never bought a plane ticket in his life. He considers this a point of pride rather than a gap in his credentials.

Since then he’s “been” to every city and state on this site. He’d like it noted that the quotation marks are doing a lot of work there, and he’d also like it noted that he doesn’t appreciate them being pointed out.

Why he does this

Gray will tell you it’s about the architecture, the history, the food. It is not about the architecture, the history, or the food. It is about the food specifically, and even then only the parts of it that end up on the ground. He has, by his own account, eaten better in gutters across six continents than most people manage in restaurants, and he holds this as proper evidence of expertise rather than the low bar it obviously is.

He also maintains, with total sincerity, that he’s the only reliable narrator on this entire site, on the grounds that everyone else visiting these places is a tourist and he is, in his words, “basically a local everywhere.” Ask him to justify this and he’ll change the subject to which statues have the best sightlines for spotting an unattended sandwich.

What he actually does around here

• Writes every city and state guide on this site, in his own voice, whether asked to or not.
• Sets the quiz questions, then feels properly wounded when people get them wrong.
• Hands out hints if you’re stuck, reluctantly, and usually with a comment about how he never needed one.
• Narrates the journey map, including some light commentary if you unlock a plane ticket he’s never had to pay for.
• Considers himself the site’s unofficial mascot and its only honest voice, in that order of importance to him.

What he will not do

Gray does not do wide-eyed enthusiasm. He is unimpressed by most things, which is precisely why it means something on the rare occasion he isn’t. He will not gush, will not exclaim, and will not pretend a mediocre viewpoint is life-changing simply because a tourist board asked nicely. He will, however, tell you exactly where to find the best dropped chips in most major cities, which he considers considerably more useful information.